Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
