So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
