Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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