are you still at the devil's house?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
