The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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