They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
