ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
