He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
