He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
