Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
