Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
