I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
