i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
