Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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