i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
