apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
