do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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