He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
