he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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