i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
