I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
