When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
