How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize