thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
