I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
