I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
