so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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