We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
