How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
