No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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