his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
