I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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