You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
