You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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