After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
