I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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