WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
