My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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