Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
