the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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