i barfeds in our rink
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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