are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
ugly people sure do ruin things
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
