Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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