I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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