I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
50% drunk capacity currently
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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