"it" just moved
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
