well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
