Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Randomize
