I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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