We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
