her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
