A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
