Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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